I decided early in my decluttering journey that it had to be mine. I could not nag, nudge, or harass my husband into joining me, although it was very tempting! Just as he could not make me want to deer hunt or watch every new superhero movie, I could not make him want to declutter. So as I went about the house, removing items here and there, I made sure to only choose my stuff. This was especially hard in the bedroom, where we split the space. But I did it, carefully peeling back the cluttered layers of my things, while leaving his untouched. Here were the initial results:

My bedside table:

Josh’s bedside table, which contained upon close inspection not one, not two, not three, but indeed FIVE pocket knives. Even if one was wearing cargo pants (which contain a significant number of extra pockets) that’s a lot of knives to carry on your person.

My dresser top:

Josh’s dresser top:

I figured this was how I would have to live for awhile, and I was okay with that. But lo and behold, about a day after my bedroom decluttering session, and without a single word from me, I found Josh in the bedroom packing up stuff and clearing surfaces! I had never been so shocked in all my married life. Josh later commented, “See what I did for you?”

That question concerned me a little bit. If he was going to declutter, I wanted him to do it for himself. “Did you do this just for me?” I asked. “Don’t you like it better?”

“Oh, heck yeah! It looks a lot better in here.”

Here are the results of Josh’s decluttering. His new and improved bedside table:

Josh’s dresser top, with actual clear space!

I guess Gandhi was right when he said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I was overwhelmed by the power of my example in motivating Josh to declutter. I always thought that I could never have a truly clutter-free house because of my husband and kids. But this experience gave me hope, hope that by changing myself, I can motivate others. My dream of a clutter-free home can actually become a reality!